Posts tagged “love”

Thank You, Dave

January 1, 2020   4:30 pm

“Dave” is David Alton Herrington, my father-in-law of right at 24 years (counting engagement time as well). He passed away Monday evening after a multi-year battle with cancer. I’m sad, to be sure, but when I think back to who he was and the time we had together, behind the sadness is a large pool of gratitude. The remainder of this is addressed to him, but public so that others know the positive impacts he had on my life. (I’m also grateful that I did not wait to share this with him; though the words aren’t verbatim, nothing here would be new to him.)

A picture of Joy, Dave, and Michelle as they look out across a lake at Table Rock State Park in South Carolina, with the mountains of the park in the distance

First, thank you for your daughter. Listing the ways she improved my life would likely fall short; from changing my outlook on my own talents, abilities, and worth, to the gift of your three grandsons, to unconditional love, to challenges when I needed it - I am the man I am today, in large part, because of her. A girl does not become a woman of her character in a vacuum; your guidance is a large part of who she is today, and I am forever grateful for that. Besides, without her, I likely would not have even known you - and my life would have been lesser because of that.

Next, thank you for welcoming me as your son. That same guidance that helped Michelle also helped me. From clean laundry back before Michelle and I were even married, to a place to stay when we visited, to places to stay even when we weren’t with you, to trips with you, you spared no resources to make sure that my family had a place to stay and a means to get where we were going. You advised me on investments, and not taking your advice is one of my regrets - you were right on that! You also respected who I was as a man - you didn’t try to change me into you; that meant a lot.

Thank you, also, for being strong. Whether it was in business, advising me about safety issues when we both worked in the field - or whether it was in the face of a body that had decided to turn against you - you showed true tenacity in every circumstance. As my body decides it doesn’t want to do everything it has done in the past, I look to your example to keep pushing it to do what it can. Thank you for applying both strength and resources to enriching the lives of my sons; each one of them can tell me fun times with “Papa and Gran” where they made memories that will be with them the rest of their lives.

Finally, thank you for holding on through this past Christmas season. I know that it wasn’t really in your control per se, but I will always be grateful that we had the opportunity to spend your final Christmas together, celebrating and making memories that all of us will long treasure.

Rest in peace, Dave - and thank you.

The 10th Annual Sanctity of Human Life Post

January 20, 2013   1:00 am

(Each year, the Sunday closest to January 22, the date of the passing of Roe v. Wade, is observed as “Sanctity of Human Life Sunday” in many churches.)

Ten years have brought us a long way. The 7th post on this blog observed 2004’s Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. This year brings us to the 40th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion on demand in the United States.

As America has become more politically polarized, her views on abortion have as well. However, there is a growing trend against abortion, particularly the more barbaric late-term procedures, which are now only approved by those blinded by their insistence on how much of a “right” it is. A recent Time cover read “40 Years Ago, Abortion Rights Activists Won an Epic Battle with Roe v. Wade: They’ve Been Losing Ever Since,” and Dr. Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, thoroughly dissected that article. And, there are some truly heartening statistics for those who value life:

  • Four states have only one abortion provider in the entire state
  • 24 states have passed 90 laws restricting abortion since 2010
  • Some states require parental notification for minors seeking abortion
  • Some states impose waiting periods and/or counseling before an abortion can be obtained
  • 30 states do not fund abortions via Medicare
  • The number of those who self-identify as “pro choice” is down to 41%

However, as Dr. Mohler so adeptly points out, abortion is far from the “rare” its proponents claim they want to see. 50 million abortions have been performed since Roe passed, and we are at the point where 1 in 3 women have had an abortion by the time they make 45.

Science is helping the pro-life cause. I covered a good bit of this about a year and a half ago. Ultrasound has given us a window into prenatal development, and psychology and psychiatry have identified post-abortion depression as much more common than postpartum depression per incident.

Interestingly enough, the most damage to the pro-life cause in the past year came from two pro-life national office candidates. I covered both those guys at the time (the latter also citing Dr. Mohler - what can I say, he agrees with me a lot!), and since that is where our movement faltered this year, I believe this is where our focus should be. Our participation in the debate should keep the following Scripture in mind:

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. You are the light of the world…” - Matthew 5:13-14a (ESV)

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ…” - Ephesians 4:15 (ESV)

As Christians advocating for God’s way of handling His creation, we must remember who we are. Salt can make a meal pop; however, salt can also overpower, and can be painful when ground into an open wound. Akin and Mourdock were the latter, coming off as callous and uncaring, much like those who still support “partial-birth” abortion come across to us. Light illuminates, but it can also blind. I left the entirety of Ephesians 4:15 there to show it in its context, but the first part of that verse is the key. We know this works; the “crisis pregnancy center” didn’t even exist before Roe v. Wade, and now they outnumber abortion providers. Their popularity is due to the care that pregnant and scared women can receive from these organizations. They don’t beat the women over the head with their “mistakes” of pregnancy or of seeking an abortion; they offer counseling, ultrasound, and support through pregnancy, childbirth, and the first few months of motherhood. They show a better way, and many women are choosing that path.

While progress against abortion is good, there is an the assault on the sanctity of human life from the other flank. “Assisted suicide” has been making the news already this year. In late 2012, two brothers in Belgium asked to be euthanized and eventually found a doctor who agreed, despite their condition not being consistent with even a liberal interpretation of the “unbearable pain” that law requires. North of our borders, Quebec looks to become the first Canadian province to legalize assisted suicide, not through legal changes, but through medical characterization of the procedure.

Both the Belgium law and the Canadian guideline revisions have advocates claiming that they will be applied narrowly; it sounds like they want it to be “safe, legal, and rare.” Where have we heard that before? Belgium and Canada both have government-run health care systems, so the government has a financial interest to maximize its investments in the system. Right now, it’s a long jump to allow someone to be euthanized because they have no hope of recovery, and keeping them alive is expensive. With the Belgian brothers, and this change in health guidelines in Canada, that jump became half as long. I’m certainly not accusing the advocates of these laws of wanting to kill people; I’m sure to them, this is just them trying to help people in pain. I can guarantee, though, that in 30 years, very few of these people will still be around, and the next generation will have been reared in a society where it’s perfectly normal to choose when you die. At that point, faced with looming deficits, it’s a very small leap to see mandatory euthanasia based on medical evaluation. The slope isn’t terribly slippery, but it’s a slope nonetheless.

This illustrates the root of the disagreements many of us pro-lifers have with these laws, guidelines, and procedures. The disagreement is one of worldview. We see human life as precious, from the moment of conception through natural death, being conferred that status by God’s declaration and unique grace to us within His creation. Human life alone is described as being “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14); its offspring described as a “reward” and having many as a “blessing” (Psalm 127:3-5); prohibited from being killed (Exodus 20:13); offered salvation from our fallen state (John 3:16); and promised reuniting with God (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17) or judgment (Revelation 20:11-15). God has made it pretty clear how He views the part of His creation that was made “in His own image” (Genesis 1:27).

If we lived in a society that agreed with this worldview - well, I probably wouldn’t be writing this. However, we do not, and the society in which we do live has an answer to each of those points.

  • Creation? No, we just evolved - somehow - big bang, amoeba, something - and there definitely was not intelligent design!
  • Lots of children are a good thing? No, that would interfere with our careers; let’s delay that, scrape their beginnings off our womb if they’re not convenient; there will be time for that later, right?
  • Murder? Don’t try to force your religion on u… wait, if there aren’t any laws against murder, then I could be murdered… OK, you can have that one.
  • Salvation? I’m a good person (hey, I don’t murder!), why would I need to be saved?
  • Judgment? But wait, doesn’t your own Bible say “Judge not, that you be not judged?”
  • We’re made in God’s image? Well, now you’re on to something - if God is in each one of us, doesn’t that make us all God? Then, what I want to do must be God’s will, because it’s my will!

This brings us back to the Akin/Mourdock problem. Simply asserting our views (then asserting them more loudly) is not going to be a very effective way of convincing others. We should keep in mind that not only does our society hold those conflicting views, they also claim to value tolerance above all else - except for tolerating us, interestingly; they have been raised to believe that we are hateful people who just want to control people’s lives and force our religion down everyone’s throats. Compounding the issue, some of our forebears actually did go about things this way, particularly over race.

So, is it just futile? Of course not. I believe the answer is three-fold.

  1. We must advocate with words. We must choose those words wisely, but we must use words. These words should be loving, condemning the practice of abortion while offering love, compassion, and forgiveness to those who have had them, realizing that it is but by the grace of God that we have not made (or are not still making) the same decisions. Use words honestly – where science supports an argument, use it; where it doesn’t apply, don’t try to shoe-horn it into applying.
  2. We must back up these words with actions. Crisis pregnancy centers, as mentioned above, have been hugely effective in not only preventing abortions, but for education and support. The film To Save a Life showed another angle of being pro-life, taking an interest in others to prevent suicide; though I didn’t mention it above, suicides are also up this past year. Be involved with food banks, shelters, or other organizations that show we care for life when those lives are going through rough times. Be involved with senior’s activities. Pick a place and plug-in; put feet to your words.
  3. We must be vigilant. We must not give up the fight against legislation or policies simply because we haven’t had time for the first 2 points above to be effective. We must continue to pray; we have the Creator of human life on our side.

Changing the culture seems like an overwhelming task, and it truly is a monumental one. However, the size of the task does not relieve us of our responsibility to be salt and light, and to work towards making it a place where all life is valued, from the moment of conception through natural death.

15 Years

May 11, 2011   12:01 am

Fifteen years ago today, there was a ceremony in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where a beautiful young woman and a (hmm… clean?) young man became husband and wife. That young man was me, and the beautiful young woman was my bride Michelle. The vows we took were not remarkable; in fact, we discussed it and decided to use traditional vows, which were (to the best of my memory)…

Michelle sitting on a rock ledge at Pretty Place Chapel, with a view of mountains in the background and a valley below

I, Daniel, take you, Michelle, to be my lawfully wedded wife; to have and to hold from this day forward; for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health; I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, as long as we both shall live.

Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with these vows, although it’s a shame that “for richer” part hasn’t kicked in yet. However, I didn’t have a clue as to the amazing journey that these few words would start. On this occasion, in front of God and these assembled witnesses (that’s you, Internet), I would like to offer some additional vows.

Michelle,

I will gladly remain your husband for the rest of my days. You truly complete me; where I'm weak, you're strong, and where you're weak, I'm strong. As we've shared our life together, I have learned to love you more deeply than I ever thought possible. Through each challenge, standing with you has made us stronger, and together we've fought down every one. I cannot remember my life before you, and I do not want to imagine my life without you. You are a blessing from God to me on a daily basis; yes, even in those things I may not want to hear, you love me enough to tell me what I need to hear. You believed I could become more than I was, and you inspire me to become better than I am. I am forever in your debt for the love you have shown to me, and I hope that I can return at least a portion of that to you in the years to come. I love you, and will always love you, as long as I may live.

Happy Anniversary, sweetheart!