These Ads Can Get You Elected?

Tuesday, October 30, 2012 3:59 pm Daniel J. Summers

I am absolutely floored by the three advertisements I've seen over the past week. All three of these ads are exploitative, and all three are not for my chosen candidate. So why am I, a Romney supporter, putting 3 Obama ads on my blog? Well, in a sane world, these ads should help Romney.

First up, one from the official campaign. This video has Lena Dunham, the creator of the HBO series Girls, comparing… well, see for yourself.

So, her “first time” was with Obama. Voting, that is. If she's 26, and her first time was with Obama, that means she was 22 4 years ago, which means that her first time should have been with either John Kerry or George W. Bush. But hey, kids make mistakes, right? The ad, though - it's just terrible. My comment, when I shared it on Facebook, was “I wonder if Michelle Obama approves of this message?” Does Lena want to have intercourse with the President of the United States? That's certainly the implication (until the “twist” near the end where she reveals she's talking about voting), and there is precedent for that.

Up next, we turn to the children. Goodby Silverstein & Partners, an ad group out of San Francisco, created this… uh… thing.

(Update - this video has been removed.)

Here are the lyrics, culled straight from the Future Children Project website.

Imagine an America
Where strip mines are fun and free
Where gays can be fixed
And sick people just die
And oil fills the sea

We don't have to pay for freeways!
Our schools are good enough
Give us endless wars
On foreign shores
And lots of Chinese stuff

We're the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And we're kinda blaming you

We haven't killed all the polar bears
But it's not for lack of trying
Big Bird is sacked
The Earth is cracked
And the atmosphere is frying

Congress went home early
They did their best we know
You can't cut spending
With elections pending
Unless it's welfare dough

We're the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And we're kinda blaming you

Find a park that is still open
And take a breath of poison air
They foreclosed your place
To build a weapon in space
But you can write off your au pair

It's a little awkward to tell you
But you left us holding the bag
When we look around
The place is all dumbed down
And the long term's kind of a drag

We're the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And yeah, we're blaming you

You did your best
You failed the test

Mom and Dad
We're blaming you!

So, the mindset behind this is “Let's get kids to sing leftist propaganda, and then blame their parents.” Now, some parents today are so weak and patronizing that this might actually be effective on them. This isn't the first time children have been exploited in this way, but it doesn't make it any less distasteful.

Finally, we have Michael Moore's entry in the mix. If you are offended by strong language, do not play this video; I'll address censored versions of their lines below.

There are a few things that get me about this ad. First off, it doesn't sound like any of these people use these words in their day-to-day life. I've worked with crew chiefs, and been deployed with the Navy, so I've been around people who use the “shocking” words found in this video. The delivery was flat. However, the actual words are worse than their delivery. “We're going to burn this [maternal copulator] down!” What are you going to be burn down - your retirement home? Seems like a strange way to celebrate recovery, but suit yourself; this video should help the arson investigators. “I'm going to track down Mitt Romney and give him the biggest [rooster] punch!” I believe some Secret Service agents might have something to say about attempting that on either the President-Elect or the President. I'm not even going to address the guy talking about watching his children have sex, except to say that incestual mental adultery probably isn't the best way to inspire voters. Finally, what is with all the “stealing” the election charges? They must have Republicans confused with Democrats like Al Franken and Christine Gregoire.

I do not want to live in an America where people are positively persuaded by ads like these three above. Show me I don't, America - 7 days from today, make it such an overwhelming Romney/Ryan victory that the only thing left for these people to do is go home and lick their wounds (or, maybe that old guy can watch others lick their wounds).